3 Certain and Specific Ways Love In Action Heals Us from the Inside Out


I’ve been thinking about love lately, and I want to talk about the transformative power of love in our lives…specifically how it impacts our actual brains and rewires us for longevity, health, and vibrancy.

Love is much less a feeling (though it is a pretty incredible feeling, too) than a choice.  We’ve all likely heard this before, but rarely do we talk about what that specifically looks like in action.

The amazing thing is that when we choose to love in certain specific ways it sets off an internally healing self-regulation.

So, what is self-regulation?

In a nutshell, it is your body’s own self-healing response. It is the “calm” trigger that cools your stressed out brain, slows your heart rate, and soothes your blood pressure. It is the mode that normalizes and harmonizes your hormones and shifts your cells from inflamed to calm and repairing.

And love in action is one of the things that flips this switch.

It is a healing force in our lives.

Here are 3 certain and specific ways we can enact this self-healing mechanism of love in our life.

1. Deep Listening

Deep listening to yourself, to God, and to others cools the amygdala and hippocampus in our brains and shifts us into a “calm” response where self-regulation can reign. Deep listening is about being truly present with the one you are with (yourself included) and not caught up in our own agendas, worries, or distractions.

In our stimulation-drenched world, this can be harder than we think…and it requires not only focused attention but also a showing up in an honest, authentic, vulnerable way.

2. Appreciation

Notice, for a moment, a single strength in yourself and deeply appreciate it. Notice a single strength in someone in your life and deeply appreciate it. Linger there. Generate that expansive feeling in your body that comes with pure gratitude for a gift you have been given from no work of your own.

Though I’m a huge believer that we were blessed to be co-creators in our lives, the truth is, life itself comes to us from no work of our own. There are miracles of grace, all around. Spend a few moments in conscious appreciation for one single gift and let it swell up in your chest.

3. The power of connection

In our brains, we have what are called mirror neurons. These are constantly reforming and rewiring and adjusting depending on who we are engaging with. They are part of our design that makes us want to be more like those we associate with.

Use this force for good, mamas.

Surround yourself with people who feed your soul, who love and support you unconditionally, who lift you up, who are of high energy and uplifted spirits, who are expanding and growing themselves, who don’t judge you or make you feel less-than. Being in the company of your “conspiracy tribe” is one of the quickest ways to elevate your own spirit and self-growth.

This is your brain on love.

It is healing, expansive, light and vibrant. That is my wish for you…for healing love to be all around you and within you.

{Now ladies, you know I could have taken this topic into the “bedroom” with all the juicy goodness we get from loving intimacy, but I’ll save that for another post.}

So, tell me in the comments, which of the three certain and specific ways of loving are you committed to working on this month? Which of these are hardest for you to put into action?

Much love,