Use the Holiday Emotional Gunk to Fuel Your Own Brilliance
What is it about the holiday stretch that makes relationships so hard? It feels like this time of the year stirs up a whole lotta gunk emotionally.
For many of us, it’s our family that starts to really trigger an emotional charge.
Regardless of who steps forward and starts to push your buttons, the reactions you feel about them can be some strong medicine. If you know how to understand the message that’s underneath the irritation, huge personal growth can happen which lands you a whole lot lighter and brighter all around.
I’m sharing a simple, fast and powerful exercise that turns the holiday “gunk” into a paved path toward personal wholeness.
So, tell me, is this something you struggle with? Do you get more triggered by family around the holidays?
Excellent! I will definitely be doing this exercise this week as I seem to be struggling more than usual with someone I adore. Love the hair color too:)
Thanks Alida– Let me know how it worked for you!
Ah… Lisa… the Shadow! What a beautiful presentation in how to work with it…. and bring it back home to ourselves. I love how you emphasize doing the work with love and care. Awareness is profoundly powerful for transformation. The addition I would make… is that for me, shadows are not so easily dismissed. If I discover that I have at times a suspicious and doubtful attitude which I discover by becoming aware of my irritation of another who is this way… I find that I cannot just not be that anymore. Awareness IS powerful in shifting those behaviors. Yet so is a slight shift in the dial of that energy by giving it a new name. Discernment. I often image my shadows in paintings or dialogs. And thus the Doubter is now the Discerner.
I LOVE Shadow work! and I LOVE how graciously and lovingly you have taught us how to work with it. Thank you for this gift! It WILL make the season a much merrier time for all! That IS a fact!
xo
Kathleen, Love your masterful thoughts on our shadow side– thank you for contributing here!
Hi Lisa. This time of year is an extremely emotive one for me, and those emotions are potent. If I throw out words like betrayal, greed, broken heart, resentment, conflict, unspoken, unheard you get a picture I’ve no doubt. As I struggle each year to resolve the conflict and confusion this arouses in me I am always aware of the shadow self. I often take myself down an even darker route as I try to resolve my own part in it all in that healer heal thyself way that can sometimes verge on destructive. Thank you then for giving such a clear and simple way of looking at it. It was painful, really so, but I do have a better idea of what I need to own – and polish! – and what I need to let go and what I can maybe ask a little help with. Happy Holidays!
K- Blessings on this journey. Thank you so much for sharing here…it can be particularly hard if you are a healer yourself, not to let in self-judgement and impatience with your own path. Wishing you kindness and grace in the working it through!
Just found you via Tsh’s podcast…your thoughts on nutrition were encouraging to me! This video is so timely and very helpful, I have carved out time to write my “letter” today. Thank you Lisa!
You’re welcome, Sarah…and Welcome!
What a great video and great timing. I had just started getting annoyed with one of the people in my life and getting worried about traveling and visiting everyone for the Holidays because I hate what it brings out in me! I can be more aware of whats really going on and work on it. Thanks!
Excellent video and exercise! My nemesis is actually better behaved around the holidays–it’s the rest of the year that is challenging! 🙂
She and I are very different, even our spiritual beliefs. She has ‘father issues’ and I don’t and the list goes on. So there are some things that don’t align…
BUT…there are some places I can see that need cleansing so I can shine brighter! Here are some that stood out:
1. “You won’t let me help you.” I am such a giver and try to be an encourager and a helper…but there are people in my life who want to help ME, and I don’t let them in, don’t ask for help or don’t let them get close enough to KNOW I need anything! They need to give to ME. I need to be the recipient sometimes so they can use THEIR gifts.
2. “You’re unpredictable.” I am a fast mover. I tend to jump into things head first and then have to back down later OR i tend to get excited about a person or a project, then it fizzles out over time. I need to be more even-keeled, so I don’t mislead or confuse people, or cause problems from being ‘flaky.’
3. “You’re always thinking about yourself and don’t consider my perspective or my needs.” I live very much ‘in my own head’ and process things by my own experiences…so sometimes I sort of steamroll people in the process. I need to assess how other people are feeling or what their needs are, instead of MY needs in the situation.
Lisa, this was great for me and actually gives me a jumping off point to #1, help myself move forward and #2, talk to this gal, so she and I can come to an understanding and move forward in grace and peace. Thank you!!!
Amazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one!
It’s on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!
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This is a very good video. I just about didn’t watch it, but now I’m very glad I did. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll even spend time to write the letter, but this is still a game changer. Whenever someone really triggers me, I’m now going to realize it really is about something I don’t like in myself. That will change the entire focus of every negative moment I have. For example, sometimes I get more annoyed at something one of my children has done than the situation calls for. Is it really about me? I bet it will be. This will help me be more gentle with them and myself. Thank-you – I believe this will make a huge change in my life.
Thanks for the great exercise. Funnily enough I didn’t have to write the letter before realising MY ultimate problem about them( Myself). Very eye opening. Do you have this exercise written out in any form as I would like to keep it for future reference and to give to friends or clients. I thank you for putting it out there and making me aware of this in me.