Are you un-supportable?
In many ways I have a hard time allowing myself to be supported. And I’m working hard at changing that because I believe so strongly in our elemental need for community and connection. In the short-term it can seem as though our lives are functioning well without it- but over time a lack of true relationships diminishes our capacity to live a full and rich life.
Here’s the thing. The pre-requisite for nurturing life-giving relationships is the capacity to be supported and cared for. Your ability not only to give but to receive what others have for you. To be witnessed, lifted up, loved and cared for.
I’m writing a book.
Some of you know this and I can honestly say every email I’ve received encouraging me toward this end, every inquiry, every cheer has been stored up in my heart. Because writing a book is like birthing a child in some ways. While the child is uniquely yours- the child truly belongs to the world as well.
So, like a child, I know that while this book is my own heart’s song it is also for millions of others of moms in the world. It is both my and our book in the truest sense.
I want my community’s support in writing this.
And that brings up a lot of resistance within me. It makes me realize that I don’t often know what support looks like or feels like to me. This happened with my pregnancies- most especially with my first. I desperately wanted a maternal network of support, wisdom and love but had no idea how to create that or even how to assess who was a right fit for my inner circle and who was not.
One of the things that I’d like to do is ask for more intentional support from this beautiful community around writing my book.
Specifically this is what I think would feel most useful: to create a very informal “inside circle” of those who are passionate about the work and vision of WellGrounded Life: that mothers everywhere would be well-supported and well-equipped to live out healthy, calm and vibrant lives, giving their best to themselves and to those they love.
About the book (what I know so far)…
The book is about how we navigate our lives as mothers from a place of deep vitality, strength and well being- in particular in the modern landscape of busyness, distraction and over-stimulation.
I envision this “rally team” to get an email once in a while when I’d like to bounce something off the group or share ways to spread the word and message about the group to your own circles. There’s no expectation on you to respond– this is just a small collection of women who want to spur me on and give me their honest feedback and support from time to time.
If this sounds like something you’d like in on, sign up here and you’ll be part of my “Book Rally Team”!
To fully disclose – I can’t offer anything in compensation but my deepest appreciation. I know for the right mamas this is enough 🙂
And for you, what is your “support” style…and how good are you at receiving support? I’d love to know what your challenges are in this area too!
Oh Lisa. How wonderful. Blessings as you begin this incredible journey! You are an amazing woman with so much to offer others. You are an inspiration. You can do it!!!
Thank you Kristen! Love to you!
I want to support your book. You should know that I am a Grandma and see my daughters raising children and managing jobs. I wish your blog existed when I was raising children and managing my career and relationships. It went well but we all can use another well-informed friend.
Such a beautiful perspective to have- am grateful you are in my “inner book tribe” so I can have your reflections and feedback!
WONDERFUL! It’s amazing how many people are around us and we are all so busy with our own lives that we truly feel alone so often.
I’m not good a receiving support. I’ve very critical and VERY self-critical. I see so many people dependent on others and it frustrates me. i.e. Grown women/couples dumping their children off on their parents so that they can *have a life* while in fact they are missing the lives of their children!
Mmm…I think you bring up a lot of initial resistance moms have around finding support- defining what it means and looks like for us is so essential.
I would also like to be part of your team. Support and a sounding board are some things we all need now and then. I am from Norway and my kids are almost grown ups now. I was a single parent for many years, but with great support from family, friends and school.
Thank you Merete! Love having your presence in the inner circle and support!
Yes, asking for support is so hard! It’s only been in the last couple years that I’ve even *thought* about asking others for help. The idea of asking for help seemed like admitting I was a failure and couldn’t handle the job on my own. Now I understand…I *know* I can’t handle the job by myself, but that’s a perfectly okay thing! 🙂 (And really, I doubt the wonderful people I’ve asked for help have thought any less of me for asking)
Mmm…love reading of your transformation. Beautiful!
Oooh, yes, I am hard to support! 🙂 I have a few different legs of a big main business, but I am among the very few of my friends who are doing anything ‘outside of the box’ and sometimes it’s a very lonely occupation. My closest friends don’t really even know what I am doing or what help I need–and they seem too busy with their own lives for me to ask more from them. I frankly don’t even know WHAT I need!
I am doing it mostly just with input from my husband and parents and I know they grow weary from my constant stream of ideas and ‘next steps.
Anyway, I signed up to support you with your book–maybe I’ll learn something about creating a support system for MY book, when the day comes! 🙂
I can so relate, Tabitha…truly- creating different tribes that resonates at different parts of your life can be crucial.
Lisa, it is a courageous and necessary act to ask for the support you need. For me this has been an act of great self-love and also generosity to others. Because as I have been able to truly receive deeply, other women have told me how much this feeds them to witness. So, it is a pleasure to witness you receiving that support and out of it birthing a new life in your book. Congratulations!
Thank you, Kate!
I used to be a do myself kinda person but then getting thrown in to motherhood the way I did (severely premature baby) and the additional traumas (including another even more severely premature baby) there was NO WAY I would have survived without the support of family and friends. Now with a special needs kid I am happy (most of the time- still human!) to receive support and have a whole new perspective on giving it too. 🙂 SO excited about your book!!!!
Oh goodness, yes- I can only imagine the lessons, the love, the growth you received from that journey, Amanda.
I love the book title/concept – adapting to our new life with anchors and strength instead of going overboard! Looking forward to seeing your creation unfold.
As for support, I do best when the one supporting me is real, authentic, not caretaking/advice giving. But just being by my side, navigating through life, not having all the answers, but looking for answers too.
Thanks so much, Marci!
Lisa, congrats once again on your book! It sounds exactly like something I need – I often find myself busy, distracted and overwhelmed and I’m looking forward to the message in your book. You inspired me so much through what you taught in your programs, it will be a privilege to be on your book rally team and have a chance to give back. Wishing you success on your book!