I recently hired a woman to help me with basic housekeeping a few times a week. It has been beyond heavenly.
But getting to the place where I was willing to ask for and accept that help was not a smooth road.
Many mothers have a tremendously hard time asking for help in their lives.
There are some specific reasons why that is the case. And specific steps we need to take in order to strengthen our “receiving” muscles.
If you ever struggle with asking for help, you’re not alone– and you’ll want to check out the video below….pronto.
Quick Point Summary of the Video
Asking for help is only one part of the puzzle– receiving the help is a muscle that for many of us is weak from the lack of use…and the only way receiving and accepting more help in your life gets easier is by practice. These steps, though, will help as you get into shape.
1. Do the inner work around what you believe about yourself when you need and want to ask for help.
In your most honest and open moments fill in this sentence:
If I ask for help that mean I’m _________________________________.
Bring the crooked beliefs out of the shadows so you can do the work you need in order to let them go.
2. Get very clear on exactly where you most need and want help.
3. Clearly ask and accept help in those areas– even if it feels awkward or hard at first. Working out muscles gets easier as they get stronger.
What is your experience with asking for help? What inner beliefs does it bring up for you?
This is such a great video. Thank you so much to remind me of this essential element. I’m actually much better at offering help than receiving. I accepted help a couple weeks ago. I have a cleaning lady that comes every other week. It’s not much but it gives me a lot more time with my three kids. But the process is not finished yet. Now, I need someone who looks after my children so that my husband and I can spend an evening together once a month. And that’s actually even harder for me. It has to be someone I really, really trust.
Barbara– Yes, it really is a step by step journey to slowly see where you can ask and seek out support and then work to find the right fit all around– but going through the process makes such a huge difference… Thanks for sharing!
2 seconds just reading the shorts before even having time to see video, and I got an answer to your question! Time to work on my shadows.
Reinforces my belief that wonderful people like you putting your time into all of us helps us all. Spirit works in marvellous ways, thank you Lisa.
The worst thing is knowing you need help, refusing to ask for it, then regretting it later. Like I need another regret to fight off.
I don’t have a problem asking for help. My problem is that it seems everyone in the world is so busy. I ask for help less now because I sense that people feel obligated by my asking and/or overwhelmed by their own lives.
I’ve had people offer to help in a specific way and when I ask for that specific help they explain all the reasons why they can’t. I’d rather people didn’t offer in the first place if it’s just words to help themselves feel good.
I would love to have help with housework, but we aren’t in a position financially to do that.
Chelsey, I’m with you. I came to a point this summer when I really did make the effort to seek the help I needed — but everyone around me needs help, too! And I don’t have financial options (that’s a big part of the help we need!) It’s not easy or clear how to go about this.
I’ve actually been working on this for the past few months; in March I started working full-time outside of the home and it has been extremely difficult to fit everything in to my busy life. My husband and I had some good discussions about finding ways to ask for help or outsource some of the things that need to just get done. I’ve experimented with meal planning services, extra babysitting hours, and a twice-monthly housekeeper. It really IS freeing to ask for help and hand over something to someone who has the time, energy, and expertise to do what I need done. I realize that what we’ve done is not for everyone, and it actually isn’t going to be something we do for a long time (I’m cutting back my hours next month), but for this time that we have desperately needed the help, we were able to ask for it (and afford it).
[…] I was thinking about this today, I found this video on the new-to-me blog Well Grounded […]