What kind of a Super-Mom are you?
We all know how futile trying to be a super-mom is, but in my experience, it takes a huge amount of honesty, courage, and at times, painful decision-making to break free of the tendency to fall into that familiar pattern.
I came to see a distinction between my own need to do-do-do more than I want to, more than I truly can, and more than what serves who I am and who I want to be in the world — and the need to do all of this and LOOK as if I am doing it effortlessly.
There are times in mothering that even the bare-bones feels like too much, and yet, we do it because we are mothers. It is in our soul to “get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.” So even there we have a distinction between “doing” too many things which truly can be taken off the plate…and other times when we are “doing” too much and yet, it is all truly necessary.
But what struck me is that even when we are feeling overwhelmed or stretched thin or juggling more than we truly can…it is the underlying need to SEEM as if we are fine, handling it all perfectly well, going along effortlessly that is the most damaging aspect to our spirits and to our selves.
The intense mental and emotional energy that we expend managing our image to the world, and the degree to which we have become master image managers is exactly the degree to which we prevent support, help, love, acknowledgment, encouragement along the way.
If there is one thing I know, it is that we cannot do this alone. And that saying “no,” and admitting we are over our heads, and doing what is necessary to rectify the situation (even at the cost of our perceived “image”) feels delicious, peaceful, beautiful, and deeply rewarding.
So if you are holding onto things in your life because you are concerned with what it would “look like” if you declined and put them down…my deepest encouragement is to push past the discomfort and honor yourself, make a bold decision, take something off your plate, say “no” (or perhaps say “yes”). Trust that the other side is worth it.