This won’t be a polished article.
I have just a few minutes while my husband is hanging with my kids before bedtime and I have something so strong on my heart I have to share it with you.
Comparing your life with others will suck all the joy out of it.
A few days ago I opened an email from a woman in the book publishing world. She mentioned a client of hers just got a book deal and went on to say that she was a mother of 5 and her book was about mothering. I felt my body tighten up and that familiar feel in my chest closing in.
Immediately my thoughts starting spiraling about how someone else had “gotten their first.” I felt the drop in my heart of self doubt, and the thoughts came rushing in.
“What do I have to say that is new?
“Who am I to be writing a book?”
“Why do I presume my experience or insight could be of any use in the world? ”
By the time my book comes out, we’ll all be exhausted of this topic.”
That is the thing about comparing ourselves to the good in others. It strips you of enjoying your life. A moment ago you were doing fine. You were having a good day. You were feeling good and inspired about your work. You were feeling grateful for so many gifts in your life.
And in a hot second it can all flip on its head.
This happens to me in so many ways. I can find myself literally stunned at my thoughts sometimes. Like when I’m out with my kids and I happen to see another mom getting on with grace and calm- I’ve caught myself making all sorts of comparisons…”Oh well, looks like she only has 1 child- I’d be calm like that if I only had one.” “Her oldest is a girl, they have such a different energy- no wonder my gang is out of control.”
It’s craziness to me that I can think these insane thoughts, but there you have it, I do- and I suspect we all do, too.
All of a sudden I’m swept into a world where my life is lacking and less than…and the thing is I wasn’t having a hard time a moment before that.
The only thing that changed was my thoughts turned toward comparing and competing.
It amazes me how fast we can fall down that rabbit hole.
The good news is that you can flip it right back- and that is the practice we must get into if we are going to master our minds.
Just like bathing, retraining your thoughts is a daily thing (or moment by moment thing if you have runaway thoughts like me 😉 )
And so once I caught what was going on in my mind I paused and took a deep breath and then imagined what would it look like if truly, TRULY every single success of another mama out there literally lifted ME and all the other mamas up at the same time.
What if THAT were the truth instead of competition and comparison?
When I asked myself to consider an alternative reality I had such a gorgeous image pop into my mind. I imagined what could happen if a group of mama authors came together in grand collaboration in an abundance mindset instead of keeping ourselves isolated and full of scarcity thinking. I got so excited with visions that I spent 15 minutes jotting down ideas in my notebook.
Stay in your own lane, mama.
Keep your eyes on your own gorgeous life. This is your race, this is your beloved journey, this is your trek to the mountain top.
And as you rise you will lift us all with you.
No one can offer your gifts, no one can tell your story, but you.
I believe it’s part of our inner wisdom as a woman to know the way in which everyone wins. To break through the old paradigm that says for one person to gain another must lose. Women have shown through centuries that we see a different path. We hold value and prosperity in the same hands and we see how they spur each other forward.
This is what has been on my heart today, dear ones. If it resonates and you find a space in your own life where comparison is eating at the roots of your peace- shine a light there. Replace it with truth and life today and watch us all benefit from your rising.
As always, I would love LOVE to hear from you in the comments. Did this strike you at all? Do you find yourself slipping into comparison and competition?
Please also share this with your community if you think someone may find value in it today.
Psst… Ready for your best year yet?! No hype, just practical, grace-filled courses specifically designed for moms. We already have a great group forming – are you feeling internal nudges to join us?! Click here for the details. Would love to have you as part of the yearlong Motherlode package for 2013. Deep discount and bonus coaching only available until midnight December 7th, 2012.