Hello Beautiful Mamas,
I’m in the final sprint to the finish line with writing my book, Replenish (due out this Aug?!!?- I still can’t believe how close that is!!).
I can tell you the irony’s not lost on me that this book named Replenish is depleting me in so many ways right now. I haven’t felt this stretched thin or exhausted in a long time- and that’s saying something with three little ones all under the age of 7!
Before I became a mom, I thrived off of intense creative projects. Ones where I’d intensely focus for long stretches and get completely wrapped up in the creative/passion zone. After becoming a mom, though, I learned fast that model just doesn’t work.
When I’ve tried to do massive projects before that required too much of my focus and energy for too long, everything (and everyone) collapsed. But about a year+ ago I knew with every fiber of my being that I needed to write this book. And after much prayer and discussion with my husband, I said yes- and was fully “in” and committed. It’s been the last couple months, though, that the focus on the book has hit a fever pitch.
I think the idea of life balance is tricky as a mom, because what may feel like balance and following your passion for you may look like a whole lotta imbalance for those dependent on you. For most of the time as a mom, I work hard at seeking a path of harmony between all my roles and responsibilities and nurturing my own self growth and dreams. But sometimes the old adage still stands, “Everything in moderation … even moderation.” Sometimes it’s okay, I think, to carve out a short period of time and declare it a “time for extremes”. Where you hook into a vision of something that requires all hands on deck and asks of everyone a little more understanding, patience, and effort to get through the stretch.
I’m coming to the end of this kind of stretch for our family. Writing this book has been one of the most meaningful and exciting things I’ve done, and it’s taken a toll on my whole family. My husband has stepped up in extraordinary ways, the kids have spent a higher than normal amount of time with sitters, and my wider family and friends have put up with long stretches of rarely hearing from me.
I’m feeling the impact as well. I’m tired more often, my reserves are low, and my mind is feeling fatigued. But you know what else is happening? My inner fire is burning brighter than it has in a long time. I’m filled up from the inside. It’s that paradox of feeling more tired and more alive at the same time. And I know this will impact who I am as a wife and mother in the long run.
I wonder, often, how this walk of balancing the commitment to motherhood and the commitment to our personal growth and creativity looks like for others. I’d love to hear how it’s played out in your life. Do you find yourself going stretches of intense focus and then stretches of retreat from creativity? Have you found a way to weave personal growth and self renewal into your everyday life? What kinds of supports do you have (or do you wish you had) to make it work?
Let’s start a conversation around this- I’d love to hear what’s true for you.
As I’m shifting from the actual writing of the book to dreaming up creative ways to promote and launch the book, I’m also excited to be transitioning out of the intense creative season and into a more present one with my little kiddos. And to be able to connect with this community in more consistent ways, too. Life’s all a rocking and rolling of one season into the next. In this moment I’m giving gratitude for the goodness of it all.
p.s. I truly would love to hear from you- share your insights and feedback below!