Yesterday on a walk, I had one of those moments of lightning bolt clarity. I saw the the process of moving from a disconnected, depleted place in life to a vital, creative, purposeful and fulfilled place in life as 7 clear steps along a journey.
Now, for sure, these have been concepts I’ve taught and communicated in many ways over the past few years- but a way of expressing them with clarity and elegance began to surface.
I’d like to share with you the first and perhaps most important step of the seven today.
Scripting your own sacred story.
Which I know sounds a little “out there” and abstract, but let me begin to lead you through some of the key points of this first step in the process and share why it makes all the difference in crafting a vibrant life lived to its fullest potential.
Why your sacred story?
Your story is who you are, how you want to live, and what you are here for; uniquely.
I think the word sacred is important to this concept for two reasons.
Firstly, your story is your driving motivator for all that you think, say, do and see in your life. It is the underlying blueprint that guides your days and the hundreds of thousands of thoughts, actions, interactions, feelings and choices you make every day. So your story is sacred because it holds within it what makes up your life.
Your story is sacred also because I believe we are sacred…specifically that we are created by the Creator for a purpose and deeply loved; we are sacred and spiritual beings with a physical body. This makes a huge difference in how we will script our own sacred story- it will be the bedrock of truth that we can lean into when we need to challenge and rewrite the current story our life is running under.
What is a “story”?
Your brain is hardwired to constantly do two things. One, solve problems and answer questions. 2. Bring into congruence all that you believe and all that you see, think, feel and experience in the world.
We’ll work with the second part right now. Your story is what your mind creates to make sense of the world. It does this by working to find congruence or alignment between your deeply held beliefs and the “evidence” it finds in your life- through all that you see and hear and experience.
When these two elements are not in alignment something needs to change- and many times our experiences, feelings, thoughts and input from the world will actually begin to rewrite and change our beliefs. And for many of us, we aren’t even aware of this.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say a core belief is that people are good. And let’s say that over time in life you encounter a lot of people who seem to act badly- badly toward others, badly toward you, badly toward themselves. Sometimes you are the one that acts badly. And your thoughts about these people begin to focus on their negative traits. And the media feeds you non-stop with all that is wrong and bad about people in the world.
In psychology terms, your mind starts to experience cognitive dissonance. And cognitive dissonance (where your belief and your experience do not match up) is actually extremely painful for us to endure, it causes a lot of unrest and anxiety.
So something needs to change. Either we need to understand our experiences differently (interpret them differently) or we need to change our belief. If you aren’t steering the ship and instead allow things to go on autopilot, most always your inner core beliefs start to change in order to create congruence.
What we believe to be true about ourselves, the world and life starts to change. And this directly impacts the story that guides the direction of our life.
Why does your story matter?
Your story is the blueprint of what will drive your thoughts, your actions, your choices, and even what you literally see as your options before you. And most of us never really consciously know what that blueprint says…and even more devastating is that most of us haven’t been the ones that designed the blueprint- because if you aren’t actively scripting your story- you will subconsciously accept the story that the world and others write for you.
So the first step in scripting is in uncovering your core beliefs– not the ones you would necessarily answer with your rational mind if asked “what do you believe is true?” but the ones that you actually do hold as true right now – as part of your inner blueprint.
How do we figure out the beliefs that make up our story?
Here are some questions to get you started.
Fear is the soil that can grow weeds and choke out all truth. Getting to the core of your fears around who you are and what is possible in your life is key to scripting your own sacred story.
1. Fill in this statement: I say that I want _________ but I’m afraid that will mean ___________.
For example, some women may say, I say that want a successful career but I’m afraid that that will mean I will have to work long hours and sacrifice being the mother I want to be.
2. What are you most afraid of failing at? Or put another way, imagine there was absolutely no way you could fail. God is literally standing in front of you and assuring you that anything you want to do you will succeed at no matter what. Now from this place, what is it that you most want to do in life? How do you most want your experience as a mother to look/feel like?
3. What does motherhood look like for those around you?
4. Specifically, when you talk with other mothers, what are your conversations like? How do you refer to your lives, your children, your marriages? Even in small talk…go through some of the typical dialogues you may have and write them out.
5. What did motherhood look like for your mother? And also, how did you feel about your mother, the choices she made and the relationship you had with her when you were growing up?
6. What do you deserve in this life? Issues around whether we deserve to be loved (like deeply, completely loved), deserve to have abundance, deserve good things, deserve to be treated well, deserve to be healthy and whole can get in the way of our identifying what we truly want. Without judging yourself, try and identify if you feel tension around wanting certain things because you don’t believe you should want them or that you deserve them.
Now, Let’s Dig Deeper
1. Given these answers and the things you are not happy about in your life, what do you think your “secret” others-scripted story says? Maybe just take one angle of your life to start. What do you think your current story around motherhood says?
2. Now, what might a sacred scripted story from your heart sound more like? Write it down.
Want more of this? I’m currently putting together a full day LIVE event based on how we redefine “supermom” and step into our fullest potential which use the 7 steps I mentioned at the beginning of this post.
If you’d like to be the FIRST to hear the details about the live event when I’m ready to release them, click here to get on the HOTLIST, baby!
Finally, I would LOVE to hear how this process of beginning to unearth your “secret” story was for you- Please let me know what you thought in the comments. And please SHARE this with your community- I bet other women and mothers could deeply benefit from it too!