If your connected with me on Facebook (and if not, no time to waste– let’s get that settled right now!) you know I’ve been slightly obsessed absorbed in Brene Brown’s work. It feels as though I have found a woman who is writing the philosophy behind exactly what I teach in my courses.
She has caused me to go deeper in processing this core trap we fall into, this societal distraction that keeps our focus away from the truly important. And that is, at the core, the belief that we are never enough.
We are not smart enough, not thin enough, not happy enough, don’t have enough time, don’t have enough space, don’t have enough energy, don’t have a big enough house, don’t have nice enough clothes, didn’t get enough sleep…it goes on and on.
But what all of these statements are really saying is that we are not enough.
As Brene puts it, we are simply not “extraordinary” and when it comes down to it, our desire to be extraordinary is really a desire for others to perceive us as extraordinary.
When extraordinary becomes the goal (and by extraordinary she emphasizes that what we really mean is “how others perceive us”), that goal strips us of our life.
Because the truth is ordinary moments are where our treasure lies. And no one knows better than a mother.
We are daily, moment by moment, faced with the most ordinary things.
Loading the washer, brushing the hair, matching the socks, tugging at our knees, filling cups of water, cutting off the crust, reading simple books hundreds of times over, packing bags, wiping noses, hugging the hurts, going mad over the constant squabbling, fretting over who our kids are dating.
And when we trade the ordinary for the search of the extraordinary we miss the gold. We miss being present to the gift of joy that is hidden in the folds and creases of our days. And we always have access to our true selves in ordinary moments.
One of the things I love about the honor of helping moms change the trajectory of their lives toward wholeness and health is that it cultivates a practice of tuning in to the here and now. We become our own experts, through skills and tools that help us check in and translate what we hear; to be present to what is really happening, right here, right now.
In our body. In our mind. In our spirit.
The goal is not perfection. The goal is growth.
And when we start to feel stagnant and stuck- it has nothing to do with needing a more extraordinary life– it has to do with identifying what is clogging up the flow, where is growth stagnant.
We can’t grow as mothers in the world if we aren’t growing as women in the world.
The biggest saboteur of growth is the pursuit of perfection. And the best fuel for the pursuit of perfection is the belief that we are not enough. Right here, right now. All of us, even the dark spot, the shadows, the imperfect places.
What if we took a deep breath and rested into the knowledge that we have all we need, that we are all we should be, and that we are in the perfect place right here and right now to completely open up to true life and overflowing joy.
You know what’s I’d bet surfaces? Gratitude. And that is to remedy for it all.
Start now. Tell me in the comments- right now, this moment, what are you grateful for?